There are so many things to plan for a wedding, choosing your bridesmaids should be the least of your worries and a no-brainer, right? Wrong. Wait till it really happens, and you’ll understand just how not-simple it is.
Here are 6 questions you might want to ask yourself when deciding who to include in your wedding party:
1. Is she bridesmaids material?
Planning a wedding is stressful, and even with a good wedding planner, there is still a lot of pressure to make your big day as perfect as you want it to be. This is where you need all the support you can get. If you’re surrounded by a good support system within your bridal party, it can make all the difference.
One week before the wedding, I had a mental and emotional meltdown. There was still SO MUCH to be done, and due to my husband’s insane working hours and workload, I was basically handling everything myself. The stress was too much to take and I sat down on the balcony floor and started crying. More like wailing, to be honest.
Somehow, one of my bridesmaids sensed something amiss from my Whatsapp messages and called me. It was the right time coz I was done with my self-pity episode and needed some coaxing and encouragement. And who else better than one who has gone through it.
It also helps if your bridal party is super fun and creative since they will be planning your bachelorette party!
2. What are her roles & responsibilities?
She could be the most joyful and fun person to have in a party, but is she willing to work her ass off for your big day?
My girl friends are go-getters, planners, creative thinkers, doers. Together, we have achieved the most difficult of tasks with astounding results. I knew they would be capable of handling the entire wedding, but because I had a wedding planner, most of the planning was left to her. I didn’t want to make my girl friends work too hard haha. I wanted them to be more of my support system than my laborers, even though I know they’re the 赴汤蹈火在所不辞 kind of girl friends.
So if you don’t intend to get a wedding planner, will your bridesmaids be willing to take time out to help you with the planning? I have heard of bridesmaids not contributing to the planning, and even MIA on the big day. You wouldn’t want someone irresponsible to be given responsibilities, do you?
To agree to be a bridesmaids conveys a commitment to expectations of duties.
What roles do you have for your bridesmaids? Do you need them to dress shop with you? Are you decisive enough to make decisions by yourself or do you constantly need the opinions of others? What are each of them going to do on the big day, who to go where at which point in time?
For me, I didn’t need an entourage for dress-shopping, and for most things I made the decisions with the help of my planner. I really only needed a support group, and to know that if sh*t happens, they will always be there for me.
3. Do you REALLY want her to be your bridesmaid?
I initially thought of having 6 bridesmaids, 4 were confirmed while the other 2… I was on the fence and took a couple of MONTHS contemplating whether to include them or not.
Then I rationalized with the fact that if I even need to consider, it meant… X
Follow your heart and desires. Keep in mind that this is your day and everyone will eventually understand. Choose who you’re closest to and not out of obligation or reciprocity, but do consider the repercussions of leaving someone out especially if family is involved.