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How To Deal With Negative Comments On Your Blog?

January 21, 2012 by Bun Bun 13 Comments

That would be how I think you’d react after reading the comment below left by a troll:

 

This ‘Jason’ person will be charged under the Sedition Act in Chapter 290 of the Statutes of Singapore for attempting to ‘promote feelings of ill-will and hostility between different races or classes of the population of Singapore’, had he made direct insults at us.

Unfortunately (and fortunately), he did not speak of Singaporeans, nor are there laws strict enough on the Internet.

I wanted so much to reply him, but that would mean I’d to ‘Approve’ his comment, and that would be an invitation for a torrent of rage from all directions. On top of that, his impoverished soul would be feeding on all the ensuing comments, and I didn’t want to let the devil win.

On another note, I found his comment utterly hilarious, and it truly showed how shallow of a human being he is.

And so I went:

As you would have read from the previous post on Why People Leave Negative Blog Comments On Blogs, there are many reasons why people would make the effort to put down a name, email address – regardless of legitimacy – and write things just to tell you how sad and pathetic they really are.

Dealing with negative blog comments requires more than just the ability to click ‘Delete’ – it requires some skills and mental strength. We are not all saints or zen-trained mediators.

Here are some useful tips on how to deal with negative blog comments:

  1. Categorize the comment
  2. Talk To Rectify
  3. Ignore and delete
  4. Relish In Your Web Existence
  5. Know That You Are Not Alone

 

1. Categorize The Comment

You can refer to the previous post on what are negative comments and how to differentiate the types.

Is it spam?

First of all, every blogger ought to have anti-spam software programs such as Akismet, to automatically sieve out spam. If you haven’t got it, please do.

Is it constructive criticism? Is it a comment made by a troll? Does it serve any purpose other than to make you feel bad?

Before you hit the ‘Trash’ button, it is best to read the message a few times, as unpleasant as it is.

2. Talk To Rectify

After reading the lines a couple of times, you would be able to comprehend the intention of the message.

If it is an objective message targeted at correcting a mistake (eg. Inaccuracy of information, delay in response, technical issues), let the comment sit for a while while you take action and think of a response to the comment.

You will learn from these reasoned points, even if you might not agree to all that’s been said.

3. Ignore And Delete

If, however, the comment is an outright inflammation like ‘YOU ARE UGLY!’ or ‘I hate your website’, it’s rather obvious that these should not see the light of day.

I guess it’s rather hard to prevent that on YouTube since comments need not be moderated, but if you are the administrator to your blog or a shared blog, you have the grand power to delete comments at will.

Deleting the comment tells the hater or troll that he or she or it will not have any hold over your positive attitude and you don’t give a sh*t about what they think.

4. Relish In Your Web Existence

There are billions of website on the Internet and cyberspace is getting more crowded with information from sites competing to provide the best information in each niche.

Do not take a negative comment personally, especially one made on the Internet.

Instead, think of all those nice people who bothered to write to you, with their words of gratitude and encouragement, and extension of friendship. These people have become your online friends, and are your web of support (pun intended).

Don’t forget also, readers who don’t leave a message. They might not know what to say, they may just enjoy reading and looking at your pictures, but you know they always come back and are there for you, just by looking at your Analytics.

No matter what you do in life, there will be people who will say negative things.

So be thankful that your blog has garnered enough attention for people to post comments – many blogs only have crickets chirping in the moonlight – good and bad, regardless.

Remember this quote: It is funny how the people who know the least about you, have the most to say.

5. Know That You Are Not Alone

That one negative comment I received today is NOTHING compared to what I’m going to talk about next.

Do you know that there is a website dedicated to slam makeup gurus? Each guru has his or her own forum channel and the community feeds on one another to see who can say the most horrible things about people (the gurus) they know hardly anything about and have never seen in real life before.

I imagine every negative comment made to be a flame carried by the author, adding to a raging bonfire that will burn themselves all in hell when they meet their Maker.

Just sayin’.

It’s a community filled with vile creatures who do nothing but pick on the slightest things about the gurus – like her weight, photography skills, facial features, hair color, nail health, teeth color, complexion inconsistency, change of boyfriend, etc.

I’m not encouraging anybody to visit that site nor join the community, but just to let you know that it exists and you are a bad person if you ever engage in a conversation to further inflame the negative comments.  http://www.gurugossip.net/

It’s very sad that people trash a guru 14 times more than they care to rave about a guru.

I’m sure the more popular you get, the greater the absolute number of negative comments you receive. I can’t imagine how much flak famous bloggers and YouTubers like Temptalia, Michelle Phan, RayWilliamJohnson, Xiaxue have to deal with each day. Temptalia receives on average of 500 comments PER DAY. Just clicking on the ‘Approve’ button must give her wrist and index finger cramps. @_@

Diversity In Opinion Is Inevitable

Best quote ever:

Opinions are like assholes,

everyone’s got one

and everyone thinks everyone else’s stinks.

Some people want to show off how much they know by putting you down, some want to portray an air of superiority by telling you should have done this, not done that, some criticize because they feel threatened by your achievements and want to squash you before you push them into the drains of obscurity.

One of the reasons people blog is to connect with like-minded people and this was my intention as well. I have made new friends, learnt from my readers, and helped many people with their makeup techniques. It has been an incredible learning journey for me and I appreciate all that’s happened. I do realize that it’s the obstacles met that helped me grow and acquire skills and knowledge I would otherwise not have if I didn’t embark on this voyage.

I also understand that no one is perfect. We just don’t need that many trolls.

You must probably have noticed that the tone of this and the previous posts are quite unlike my other posts. I also chose to publish them before Chinese New Year because the year really starts only then (heh heh). I want to leave the bad stuff back in the past, and enjoy a great year ahead!

 

How do you deal with negative comments on your blog? Or in life, for that matter? Do you confront, control, or ignore?

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13 comments
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anon girl
anon girl 5pts

Hello BunBun, I came across your previous blog post from this when I was searching it. Yeah, mean comments can get to your nerves, online or offline. Well, the best thing to do is ignore the haters. A lot of people are insecure (we all are!), only, these peeps don't know how to deal with their own insecurities. They put down others to feel good about themselves. Just think of the law of Karma: whatever you do, good or bad, will come back to you. Sooner or later. That thought gives me comfort when dealing with spiteful people. Be good always, and continue doing what you love! As much as you attract insecure, b*tchin haters, you can also help a lot of people without you knowing it. ;)

Aimee
Aimee 5pts

Thank you for this. I received my first really angry comment from someone I don't know today. It was very unsettling. Googled for help and your post came up. Grateful for your reasoned perspective.

Chris
Chris 5pts

Bless you for writing this! I have only gotten a couple of negative comments so far, but I have to admit, they stung a little. Everything you said was spot on. I have over 400 positive comments on my blog, which makes those two mean ones seem less significant to me. If someone has enough time on their hands to trash someone they don't even know, then I just feel sorry for them. They must live very boring lives.

Bun Bun
Bun Bun 5pts

Exactly, and to want to devote time and energy on meaningless things like bringing other people down is doing discredit to oneself. It's good that you're taking it well and putting things in perspective. 2 out of 400 is really nothing. Life is too short to waste on wastrels like these. Let's live ours to the fullest! High five! :D

sharon
sharon 5pts

Oh u are so right when u say that those who know the least about us have the most to say! And no we dont need that many trolls but if i had my choice, i wont tolerate ANY of them.. i would prefer to exterminate all of them (just saying lol) but i reckon at the speed they breed, its quicker and more fatal then SARS or any other horrible contagious disease out there.. >.

blur kat
blur kat 5pts

I think this is a very well written post. It gives all bloggers out there a reminder that people do get crazy comments sometimes and you're not alone. I feel sorry for the guy who make the comment tho because even if this comment was shown to the whites, they will also find it ridiculous because that would mean everything else, trees, plants, mammals and reptiles etc. are all deformed.. And I feel sorry because this guy does not have the ability to appreciate the beauty of all living things.

Bun Bun
Bun Bun 5pts

Excellently said, blur kat! Couldn't have said it better myself. This guy is truly deprived of the ability to appreciate life, voluntarily or involuntarily, and he's just bitter that he's not as happy as others. My desire to share how I simply flicked this childish comment supersedes the content of the comment though. I hope that people don't get affected by negative comments too much. They're not worth it!

Xia
Xia 5pts

I don't want this to come out the wrong way but it seems that you have it a lot better than other blogs and gurus, I mean that one comment wasn't even directed at you personally but pretty much all races. I also think you blew one comment high into the air when it wasn't needed.

Bun Bun
Bun Bun 5pts

Well, you can take it that I'm not as famous as other blogs and gurus - I'm relatively new to the scene, only 10 months into blogging. :) What about you? Also, I'm not taking the comments personally nor am I blowing them out of proportion. I take the comments I received as examples of negative comments people might get, instead of focusing on their specific content, geddit? I didn't go 'Oh, I received nasty comments, I'm so sad', but translated them into a topic where people can understand and learn how to protect themselves from internet trolls.

Zuzu's Petals
Zuzu's Petals 5pts

Hi I just discovered your excellent blog. What a disgusting comment. It's hard not to feel outraged and then perhaps little guilty for giving that troll even a morsel of thought or energy. I'd call "Jason" a pig, but I like cute pigs. Oh, and as coincidence would have it, I also stumbled on that web site you listed, the one that trashes a guru. I wanted to look away, but I read long enough to be horrified that there was actually a web site/forum -- getting paid advertising -- the devotes itself to being hateful. I've only been blogging around 9 months and haven't received any hate comments yet--just a few pointed ones intending to put me in my place, which might not even have been undeserved. I look forward to reading your posts! xZu

Bun Bun
Bun Bun 5pts

Lol. I think pigs are cute only when they're in the form of toys and cartoon... They don't really look all that cute in their dirty, muddy, smelly state... XD It's really sickening that people devote time and money to building and maintaining a site that encourages all that hate, isn't it? I hope the bloggers don't let those get to them - some comments are really vicious and attack the bloggers personal lives and things totally unrelated to blogging. Tsk! Thanks for your support, Zuzu!

Sunny
Sunny 5pts

It is very thoughtful and well-written, BunBun! I think negativity inevitably comes with fame, so it's true that you should relish in your online success! My blog is still way too small to attract negative comments, and I seldom have experience with such upfront rudeness in real life. I guess if you think the commenter doesn't know what he/she is talking about, ignoring the comment is probably the way to go. I'm not very good at confronting people I know (I think it's an Asian trait haha), so I prefer to ignore it. I've learnt not to brood over stuff like this over the years too, so that's a big plus. Happy Chinese New Year BunBun! Eat a lot of delicious food for me!

Bun Bun
Bun Bun 5pts

Thanks Sunny dear! Hahaha I understand the non-confrontational Asian bit... Besides, people are less rude in real life as compared to internet trolls who can hide behind anonymity. Happy Chinese New Year to you too Sunny! Pineapple tarts FTW! =D

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